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10 Apr 2020

Grandma in Lockdown

Article . Written by Helen Aish

Oh how I miss those hugs...

We can talk... from a safe distance.  We can read stories together over facebook messenger and find ways to connect like art projects and playing games.  It is possible to connect meaningfully, but oh how I miss those hugs.

I have no doubt they are missing the hugs too. Touch is fundamental to our relationship. It was our first form of communication. The moment that precious baby was put into my arms the language of love was so tenderly spoken. No words required. It is the first sense to develop so we were fully communicating in that moment, and I have cherished every opportunity to further that every time we meet.

So something fundamental is missing right now. I feel that quite viscerally. I know this lockdown to be a temporary situation and there will be heaps of opportunity to make up those huggles and snuggles but if nothing else it is giving me great cause to reflect. There is nothing like being denied something to heighten it’s value. That sweet oxytocin released during every hug, which reduces blood pressure and lowers cortisol (the stress hormone). No wonder we love our hugs so much.

I know they will be getting their hugs from their loving parents, but, they are not getting mine! And I know that I am a very important person. 

A friend just posted a wonderful Alice Walker poem on my facebook page, ‘Calling All Grandmothers’. I quote ‘ I call on all the Grand Mothers of the Earth and every person who possesses the Grand Mother spirit of respect for life and protection of the young to rise and lead.  The life of our species depends on it’

That first meaningful communication between me and my grandchild/ren stired something deep within. I am that Grand Mother who holds the spirit of respect for life and protection of the young. There is indeed something different about the Grand Mother’s hugs, something powerful and intrinsic to life.

Please may lockdown end soon. Precious and vital hugs waiting to be given and received.


Author: Helen Aish, Relationship Counselor, Grandmother